Posted by: frankjwalker | April 22, 2017

Advice for Guys…

Advice for guys2

 

 

Advice for husbands:

Listen.

I have been married 43 years and I still am learning to love and understand my wife.

Here’s some practical advice you can use from a guy that has been at this marriage stuff for awhile.

  1. Listen, really listen.

I mean this. Listening is the key to good communication. Don’t fake it. For your sake don’t look at your watch or your cell phone. If the phone rings don’t answer it. Don’t get all glassy eyed and zone out. She needs to know you care and really want to hear the things that are on her mind.

  1. Keep listening.

Don’t give up and walk away. Don’t think about the game or anything else for that matter. Don’t interrupt. I’ll say it again, don’t interrupt. Stay with her it will be worth it.

  1. Listen and don’t try to fix it.

This is the number one mistake guys make. Guys want solutions. They want to get down to business and solve a problem. Yes I know that’s what we do but don’t fix it in this situation. She doesn’t want it fixed she wants you to listen.

  1. Show you’re listening by asking insightful questions.

You’re listening so prove it to your wife by asking questions. Your questions should help clarify and help you focus her story. Ask her to tell you more or explain further.

  1. Show your listening by repeating in your own words what you heard.

She needs to know your hearing what she is saying. So repeat what you have heard her say. Use your own words but don’t interpret or add anything. Lean forward in your chair. Look into her eyes. Show your listening with your body language.

  1. Later on ask how things are going with what your wife talked about.

Ask your wife about what she talked about some time later. Let her know you remembered your conversation and cared. If you have a solution and a way to fix her situation this could be the time to talk about it. But remember she just wanted you to hear her so fixing it might not be necessary.

 

Understand these 6 things are totally against the grain for guys and sometimes are hard to do and remember.

Guys usually act or react.

That’s great on the job or hunting lions but it is not what your lady needs. Women talk it out and work it through with words. Help your wife work through her stuff by listening.

But doing these things will go a long way in developing understanding and harmony in your marriage.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

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