Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | March 26, 2017

Why Marriage Counseling Fails




Why Marriage Counseling Fails.


  1. Minds already made up.

Too many times the couple comes in with the end already set.

They are somehow looking for a referee to confirm what they have already made up their minds on. They know it’s over and just need a professional to agree.

Tickets are already bought for the out of town train.

Husbands usually are the ones who come in with the idea that counseling is the way to prove that the marriage is over. They want to be able to say, “Well we tried everything”.

But from the beginning the counseling was doomed to failure.

Trust me there is always a solution and a remedy. It takes work on both your parts.

If anything you need to work things out so you don’t carry the same baggage into another relationship.

If you have kids you are stuck with each other. Work things out in counseling so the kids don’t suffer.

  1. Honesty.

If you can’t be open to honest discussion, then counseling isn’t worth the effort.

Honesty means you’re willing to look at yourself and your contribution to the problems.

Your willing to peel off the band aid no matter how much it might hurt.

Your willing to dig deep and look at what really is going on in your relationship.

  1. Commitment.

Yes, counseling can be done when one spouse doesn’t want to come. But couples counseling is about couples.

Counseling takes time and a commitment to the time needed to solve problems.

No matter how much time is needed.

It took a while for you to get into the hassles you are in. It might take a while to get out of the hassles.

Commit the the time and energy needed to heal your relationship.

  1. Money.

What price will you be willing to put on your marriage? You went out of your way when you got married. The ceremony was great and cost a lot. It was worth it. How much is the marriage worth now?

The most important thing you have ever done in your life is to get married. Don’t tell me you don’t have the time or money.

There is always time for making things right.

  1. Not willing to give the needed time.

It’s about time again.

It will not happen after one counseling session. It took a long time to get where you are.

Give your relationship and counseling the time it needs for healing.




Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428


Frank’s books are available @



  1. Marriage counselling fails because spouses are not real to each other. They are not ready to practicalize what is been said or told. They are only ready to trade blames and not accept blames. Couples tend to remember all the faults they found in each other and not the good side thereby unleashing their hatred for each other.

    • Wow, this seemed to come form a real place. Have you had experience with marriage counseling?

Thank you

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