Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | March 31, 2016

Why Therapy?

why therapy


Why Therapy?


When I tell people that they need to seek a therapist for their relationship their eyebrow raises and a look of defensiveness or shame overcomes their facial expression. “We’re totally fine, we don’t need a shrink,” is what I hear back or “do you really think it’s that bad?”

  • Many people have a negative association to the word “therapist” or “counselor.”

They think that seeing one means something isn’t right and at times that might be true, but seeing a therapist early on in a relationship can do a lot to guide it in the right direction instead of trying to save it later on.

  • Think of a therapist as a translator, there to help you understand each other better and pave the way to an emotionally satisfying connection.

A therapist is unbiased toward you and how you and your partner act.

Instead of just seeing things as a part of your personality, they are trained to notice and address unhealthy habits or methods of conduct.

  • No one is perfect and sometimes we need someone to point out unproductive things that we do in a healthy way so that we don’t make the same mistake twice.

I have a client who goes to her therapist with her husband even when things are at their best. She says she always learns something that nurtures their relationship. She considers it maintenance. If you go to a counselor only seeking advice to solve a problem then that is what you will get, but when things are great and you go just for insight, you learn so much more and connect even deeper with your loved one. Also, talking to a professional about the state of your relationship when it is at such a high point will help you to take notice of what is making it work at that time and you can always think back to it when things might be in a slump.

  • So many times couples seek therapists when things are in a bad state and things were already said and done that can’t be taken back.

In most conventional situations, the couple is coming to the counselor because they have major problems in their relationship, often accompanied by deep-seated anger, resentment and frustration. When a situation is at this point the counselor has to try to create a safe and open space within the context of the problems between the couple in the room.

  • Keeping the lines of communication open and honest is the best way to ensure a relationship’s success.

For some it comes easy but for most, we need a little help. A professional is great way to ensure both parties in the relationship are heard and neither is judged.


Ian Oliver



Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428


Frank’s books are available @


Thank you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: