Recognize your point of view.
Take some time to get your point straight. That might mean waiting until you cool down a bit. Know your point of view and state that only. Stick to the point and stay there. Don’t go anywhere else, past or future. Stay on track.
Don’t be passive aggressive.
Don’t be one of those people that don’t speak up and get involved. You hold back and pout, stonewall and
Nobody is a winner or a loser.
Please understand that in an argument there can be no winners or losers. if you win an argument then your spouse is the loser. you did not marry a loser. So don’t make either of you a loser in any disagreement.
Talk, talk and talk some more. Set apart time each week to catch up and check in.
Bite your tongue. Hold back just a little while. Silence can be therapeutic. In the silence pray, ponder and then respond.
Don’t butt in.
A big problem in any communication discourse is this. Each person wants to jump in and state their case before the other person. Too often we compete to get our words in. Let the other person state their position and then respond to what they just said.
Pay attention and wait.
Listen really listen. Then wait a moment or two then respond. Hear to understand. Wait to clarify and restate what you have heard.
Frank J Walker LMFT
1617 Main Street
Cambria, Ca. 93428