Keeping your Love Alive:
Human love has limits.
Please understand that this love thing you have for your spouse is limited. It’s limited because you are human and so is your spouse.
Life’s stresses can get in the way of your love for one and other. We all have this movie idea about marriage. But I am so sorry but movies are nowhere near the reality that is real life.
You live in the real world and you have to have a real world expectation. That is you and your spouse have flaws and despite those flaws there is a whole lot to love and be loved.
There will be ups and downs.
Love has to be constantly renewed.
Focus on the positive and not the blemishes.
We live in such a negative world. Watch the nightly news and that should convince you that things are pretty bad out there. But that is no reason to look at your spouse and married life in a negative way. There are so many things that are positive about your marriage. Take some time daily to focus on the good stuff in your marriage and spouse.
Your marriage was not a mistake.
OK, right now you’re wondering how you got yourself into this married thing. He/she isn’t what you thought you married. Things have changed and you’re standing there scratching your head trying to understand what’s happened.
Please understand your marriage was not a mistake.
You were not drugged and kidnapped by aliens. You made a rational choice when you chose to be married.
The mistake might be in giving up.
Take a deep breath, slow down. Take a true assessment of where you are in your marriage.
If you need help get some.
Be the best.
Don’t give up and don’t let down. Be the best you can be. This whole thing is about love. Be the love that your spouse needs and wants.
Try to be the person you were when you first married.
They fell in love with you for really good reasons. Get back to the person you were when you first married. I know it’s been a long time since then. Things are way different from then. But are they?
The love can still be like it was. In fact it can be so much better.
They changed but so did you.
Get back as close as you can to the person who first fell in love. Be that person again. Be even better than then.
Fight battles together.
You are on the same team. Act like it and work it out like it. If there are battles to be fought do it together. Do the fighting for the team.
There is only a “we” in this marriage.
Give everything you have, don’t hold back.
We have this idea that we have to hold stuff back for another day.
Guess what we really don’t have control over the day or days to come. There may not be another day.
So, give it all you got. Don’t hold back.
I know you don’t want to show all your cards. You want to tease a little and keep them coming back for more.
However, when will that time come?
Don’t hold back on your love.
Work at happiness.
Again and again I have said that this marriage is hard work. Happiness just doesn’t come by and hit you in the head.
You have to work at happiness and seek happiness and make you and your spouse happy.
Trouble keeping love alive? Contact me@
Frank J Walker LMFT
1617 Main Street
Cambria, Ca. 93428