Posted by: frankjwalker | December 21, 2015

Have a Longlasting Marriage

everlasting marriage

 

Ideas that will Help your Marriage Last Forever

 

Keep talking.

Talk, talk, talk and talk some more.

Problems in marriage come from the lack of communication.

So the more you talk the better the communication and the better the marriage.

Of course we have to throw in some good listening into the mix.

Kick the TV out of the bedroom.

I like TV as much as anyone else. But a television should be in any room in the house except the bedroom.

The bedroom is for two things, sleeping and love making.

TV gets in the way of both.

Pick your battles.

You win some and you lose some. It’s called compromise.

Some battles are worth fighting for. Some battles are worth putting aside and forgetting.

Choose the battles that strengthen your relationship.

Let some things slide by.

Let go of little things.

Little things become big things.

Let go of the little things.

Understand that most things are little things.

It’s a marathon.

When you married you made promises for life. 5, 10, 15 years is not even anywhere near the finish line of a marriage. Life is a long time so plan and work toward a lifetime.

Be selfless once in a while.

There are times you just have to go with it. She likes Chinese food and like Mexican. Go their way once in a while. It is all about give and take. Love, honor and obey are big parts of this marriage thing.

Sometimes you need to bite your lip and let it go.

Be selfish once in a while too.

You have to have your tank filled or you will have nothing to give back. Have a hobby, have different interests from your mate. Bring something new into the relationships. You did not marry your twin. You both brought separate identities into the relationship. Keep your identity and nourish who you are.

Accept that you can’t control your spouse.

You can influence your spouse. You can push and pull your spouse wherever you want. But control your spouse you can’t.

Work on yourself.

It’s your responsibility to make yourself happy. All of us have work to do on ourselves.

Do your own work.

We are responsible to change, grow and mature.

Don’t expect your mate to make you happy.

There is your happiness is dependent on another person. You have to be able to find your own happiness. Yes your mate can hurt your feelings and make you happy. But overall happiness depends on your own choices and expectations.

It’s a tough place to put your spouse in. The responsibility of making you happy is a job nobody wants.

The line Happy Wife Happy Life just cannot ever be so. Yes, if you have a spouse that is happy you can feel pretty good. But if you’re depending on them to be and make you happy you’re not going to be happy yourself.

Assume the best.

This is a good thing you are doing as a couple. You will have ups and downs.

Focus on the ups. Put little value in the downs.

There is enough negative stuff out there don’t add to it.

Act like your dating again.

Remember what it was like when you first dated. Remember how tingly you got.

Keep those feelings alive by continuing to pursue your spouse. Keep dating. Keep things fresh.

Touch.

Hug, Kiss, cuddle and hold hands. Do it often. A shoulder massage is great too.

Have a lot of sex and enjoy each other.

Don’t disrespect.

One of the worst things you can do is not respect your mate. This includes Talking behind their backs, joking about their quirks and arguing in front of friends and the kids.

Give your spouse every respect.

If there are problems in your marriage fix them.

Talking out of turn is not the right choices.

Love is a choice.

Every day you must make a decision to love.

Love is a daily decision.

You’re a team.

I have to remind couples in therapy that they are on the same team.

Remember why you got into this marriage thing. You are not opponents. You want the best for each other and for your lives together.

Make plans, set goals and work together.

 

Having marriage hassles? Let’s talk @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

559-904-9028

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

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