Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | December 17, 2015

How to Have a Happy Marriage

Happy marriage


How to Have a Happier Relationship without Couples Therapy



  • It takes effort.

 If you haven’t tied the marriage knot know and understand that this together thing takes work and effort. If you are married just say “Amen”.

Getting along forever with anybody is a challenge.

Getting along until “Death do you part” comes is hard work. Yes I know you are in love but love only last so long then the work begins.

In fact “true love” comes when the hard work sets in.

But please understand this; the hard work is worth it. It really is. Take it from somebody that has been married 43+ years.

  • Listen.

Listen, really listening is one of the hardest things to do. Hearing is one thing but listening is something else.

Listening involves empathy, understanding and taking things to heart.

The whole idea about walking in the other’s shoes is about understanding who and what the other person is all about.

The only way you will deeply understand a person is to listen.

  •  Ask

No matter how in love you are. You will never be able to read your spouse mind. You may have a lot of hints to what they are thinking, but you will never be able to know totally.

So the simplest thing you can do is ask. Don’t try to guess (Husbands this is especially for you.). Let me say this again and save yourself some hurt. Just ask.

By asking you get a straight answer.

***Warning, warning, warning!

There are some things in any relationship you have to learn and then know. Favorite color and ice cream flavor are easy to remember. But there is a lot of relationship stuff you have to remember.

So lock those important things down.

The other stuff you need to ask.


  • Try New Things Together.

Please, please, please don’t become boring. Yes, you will have to have a routine. You have to go to work. You have to do all the kid stuff.

A routine can be a good thing.

But don’t become boring.

Don’t let your relationship become a habit.

Try new things. Do new things. Change up the routine every once in a while.

Spice up your life with new little adventures and experiences.

It will be great for your mind, body and relationship.


  • Show Gratitude.

This marriage you are in is a good thing.

Be thankful for your spouse.

Show gratitude and live with gratitude.

Sit down every once in a while and remember where you came from and how far you have come.

Get out the wedding photos and reminisce.

If you are having trouble with being thankful you need to get things put back together. See your priest, pastor or therapist. Look at point #1 and put in the work you need to have a better marriage.


  • Practice Affection.

 Kiss a lot.

 Hug a lot.

 Have a lot of sex.

 The only way this marriage thing will get better is to practice loving and love making.

 Kiss when you leave. Kiss when you come back.

Hold hands in public.

Embarrass the kids by hugging and kissing in front of them.

Hug, snuggle and share tenderness.

Practice makes perfect.


Source: 5 Ways To Be Happier In Your Relationship (Without Going To Therapy).


Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428


Frank’s books are available @


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