Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | May 15, 2014




Ephesians 5:25

Rekindle the Fire


The biggest problem I see in marriage is selfishness.

He has his important stuff to do and she has her stuff too.

I often hear statements like this in my counseling. “Why can’t he just do this for me?” “I’m doing everything for her.”

Each spouse believes they have the more important agenda in the marriage and if he or she would just get on board everything would go smoothly. This is so far from the truth or any way to have a successful marriage.

Couples have to stop and ask themselves, “What did I get into marriage for in the first place?” Was this marriage for me, for him or her or was this marriage for us? Was marriage about fulfilling my needs? Or was this marriage about becoming a marriage unit, a together thing.

Couples have to break out of the selfish, “It’s all about me and my wants and desires”. You have to get into the “we mode”.  If you don’t you are bound for failure.

You can’t make your marriage succeed on your own; you have to do it together.

The only way you can do that is with less “me” and more “we”.


Frank Walker LMFT




  1. Oh, amen! Woven somewhere around selfishness is the inability to empathize with somebody, to put yourself in their shoes. Marriage these days has a lot of things stacked against it, and selfishness is certain a common theme.

    • Thank you for your comments.

      Marriage is where it all starts and ends.

      Good marriages, means good kids, good neighborhoods, good communities and on and on…

      It’s why I got into this therapy biz. To help bring about change.

  2. I hear ya! I mean WE hear you. lol

Thank you

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