Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | June 29, 2013

Control Your Mouth, Quick, Slow and Slow

Excerpt from my book

The Shut Up Book

A 40 Day Biblical Approach to Controlling your Mouth

James 1:19

… But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.


Whoa! So here’s the formula. Quick, slow and slow. So write it down and memorize it quick, slow, and slow.

Quick to hear. That means when someone is saying something to you that causes them to be upset, listen. Listen not only to what they are saying but what the hidden agenda underneath is. What is the history of their complaint? What is the truth in their hurt and anger? If you can understand where the pain is coming from you can go a long way in easing your fear and that persons fears.

Mama said it over and over again. “Count to 10 before you say anything”. Mama was a great therapist. Take a breath, think about what you have and need to say before putting your tongue in gear. So many times we say things without counting the cost. Wait; take a moment before you respond. I wrote a whole book on anger, so check it out. Anger can be justified, but is it justified in this situation? Is anger going to accomplish anything? Take it slow and count the cost before you respond.

In a few short words James says it all, “Quick, slow and slow”. Make it part of your life.


Understanding is a big part of getting along. Take the time to understand the other person. Even if you disagree with them, understanding can go a long way in keeping the lid on things.

Don’t expect others to understand you. So don’t demand understanding from others. Keep your cool and wait your turn.


Thank you

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