Posted by: frankjwalker | March 23, 2017

Love 41

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OK, so I added a couple extra days.

Day 41

1 Corinthians 13:7

…hopes all things…

 

One of the key ingredients I deal with in therapy sessions is hope.

People come to me with a hope that things will change; things can be different. If doesn’t matter what people are dealing with, my first job is to help provide a basis for hope. If things are hopeless then people give up, walk, or run away. They run away physically or emotionally. They take drugs, they drink they wall themselves away so they will not hurt any longer.

So we make lists, we talk about possibilities, we dream dreams together, we try to find a basis for hope.

If there is any tiny bit of hope we build on it, fan it into a flame. We can warm ourselves in almost any situation with the hope of change and overcoming.

Our love of God, family, and loved ones is a place to start in building hope.

A hope based on love will provide the courage to endure and hold out. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. But we stand in our hope that all things will change and be renewed. Our God is a God of hope. Our God is a God of renewal. Our God is a God of the resurrection.

In that knowledge we can, through love, hope all things.

 

  1. Look out into the near future. What can you build your hope on?

  2. It can be just small things. Knowing that the bills are being paid, knowing that the wounds will heal and knowing that the new day can provide a new start are just what you need to have hope.

  3. Know this that in your weakness God is strong.

 

This is an excerpt from my book,

Love

A 40 Day Biblical Approach to Love

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

 

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 22, 2017

Love 40

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Day 40

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient…

 

There’s a joke that goes “Only a hospital has patients” (get it, patience/patients).

We live in an instant society, instant feedback, instant rewards, and instant satisfaction.

I’m sorry but love isn’t like that. Love is about growing, nurturing, and waiting, sometimes a lot of waiting. Above all love takes work, hard work sometimes.

It would be great if Cupid could shoot you with an arrow and true love would arrive, but it has never been like that.

Even if you fell in love instantly it takes time and patience for that love to grow and strengthen. If you are truly in love you are in it for the long haul. You want to be in it for the forever ever after, long term. Don’t you? It’s no secret your love will be tested by the ups and down of just daily living. Just by being alive you will have to deal with traumas, dramas, and unavoidable bad stuff.

The only way your love can survive is with patience and waiting. Don’t get me wrong, love is a strong medicine. Your love for one another may be the only thing that helps your survive though times. Just knowing you have someone who loves you and is there for you will help you survive the rough stuff life hands out.

However, instant answers, instant solutions, isn’t what loving is all about.

Love is like a hospital (remember the bad joke at the top? How could you forget?). Love is where healing takes place.

Be in love and be patient.

This is an excerpt from my book,

Love

A 40 Day Biblical Approach to Love 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 21, 2017

Love 39

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Day 39

Proverbs 10:12

…but love covers all transgressions.

 

So somebody has done you “wrong”. Yes, they did you down and dirty wrong.

That wrong hurt you and you may never get over it. Can you get over the wrong? How long will you let the wrong hurt you? Will you let your anger and hurt go? Some people carry their pains and misery to their graves, never reconciling, never forgiving. What about you? Are you going to be bitter, angry, and resentful for the rest of your life?

What about that love thing? Will the love that you have cover over the wrong that has been done to you?

You can change; you really can. Love is a powerful tool that can change your whole outlook. Love true isn’t powered by your own will and will power. You need to tap into a higher sort of love, God love. God loves you despite (you fill in the blank). We are fallible, incomplete creatures that except for God’s love for us would be lost. I’m not talking a lost here on earth kind of lost. A lost my car keys kind of lost. I’m talking about a going to hell for eternity kind of lost. You remember hell don’t you? Why would you go to hell? Because we are all sinners and all of us are without an excuse or defense.

God loves us despite our sins.

Can we ask any more for those that sin against us? It doesn’t matter if those who have done you wrong change or not. The real change that needs to be done is self-change and that is the change that only you can do.

That acid resentment in your belly only hurts you.

Bask in the love of God and let His love cover up the transgressions that have been done to you.

 

  1. Another list. Who have you written out of your life because of past hurts and wrongs done to you? Make a list of those names.

  2. Forgive them. Yes really forgive them. Do it for your own well-being.

  3. If you can make amends with them. Make contact.

  4. Change your heart. Soften your anger. Give it over to God.

 

 

This is an excerpt from my book,

Love

A 40 Day Biblical Approach to Love

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

 

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 20, 2017

New YouTube Channel

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Please check out and subscribe to my new YouTube channel.

A marriage Minute

@

Frank Walker LMFT

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 20, 2017

Spring

spring

 

It’s the first day of spring!

Throw off the winter doldrums and brighten up your life.

It’s spring!

Dance a little, jump up and down a little. Maybe even hug somebody.

It’s spring!

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

walkertherapy.org

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT9Fs4RrK3z5lJFPgzpqSFA

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 20, 2017

Love 38

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Part II

Leviticus 19:18

…but you shall love your neighbor as yourself…

 

Nobody wants to admit it, but it’s no secret, we love “us”.

So there, it’s out. I’ll admit it for you, you love yourself. You may deny it but it’s time to face the facts. We spend a whole lot of time indulging the inner and outer “you”.

We love us.

I know you look in the mirror and you might not like what you see. Your nose is too big, your hair, well that’s another story, but overall you’re not too bad off. With the right amount of time and money you could look pretty good.

That’s the point of the verse.

The time and energy spend on loving yourself could be spent on the love of your neighbor. Here’s the point, God loves you. He has from the moment of your creation. God will never stop His love for you.

You don’t need to waste too much time on self-love; God’s got the love thing covered.

You do need to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, have shelter, and decent clothes; you need the basics. But the loving yourself thing is, well selfish. God created this lovable person that you are, not so you can be your one man fan club, but so you can share that love with others.

God loves you; what more do you need? Share that God love with others.

 

  1. Make sure you take care of your basics. God is not asking you to be a martyr. At least not today. You need to be healthy to be able to offer help to others.

  2. Now comes the fun part. You know how to take care of yourself. Now pass the love around. Love your neighbor. Make sure their basic needs are being met.

  3. Go beyond that. Help them get to heaven. Introduce them to the Savior.

 

 

This is an excerpt from my book,

Love

A 30 Day Biblical Approach to Love

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 19, 2017

Why Marriage Counseling Fails.

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Why Marriage Counseling Fails.

 

  1. Minds are made up.

Too many times the couple comes in with the end already set. They are somehow looking for a referee to confirm what they have already made up their minds on.

Tickets are already bought for the out of town train.

Husbands usually are the ones who come in with the idea that counseling is the way to prove that the marriage is over. They want to be able to say, “Well tried everything”.

But from the beginning the counseling was doomed to failure.

  1. There is no real honesty.

If you can’t be open to honest discussion, then counseling isn’t worth the effort.

Honesty means you’re willing to look at yourself and your contribution to the problems.

Your willing to peel off the band aid no matter how much it might hurt.

Your willing to dig deep and look at what really is going on in your relationship.

  1. One of the couple do not commit.

Ye, counseling can be done when one spouse doesn’t want to come. But couples counseling is about couples.

Counseling takes time and commitment to the time needed to solve problems.

  1. It’s expensive.

What price will you be willing to put on your marriage? You went out of your way when you got married. The ceremony was great and cost a lot. It was worth it. How much is the marriage worth now?

5. Time

The most important thing you have ever done in your life is to get married. Don’t tell me you don’t have the time.

There is always time for making things right.

  1. Not willing to give the needed time.

It’s about time again. It will not happen after one counseling session. It took a long time to get where you are. Give your relationship and counseling the time it needs for healing.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com 

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 18, 2017

Love 37

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Day 37

Revelations 2:4

But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.

This is how it happens.

You fall in love and it’s the greatest thing since Facebook, Snap-chat or whatever. You know what I mean.

But then you get a new job or promotion. You buy a new car and bills have to be paid. You have to work overtime; the kids get sick; the house needs repairs, and it goes on and on. It all becomes a drag and frankly a little hum drum and boring.

Remember your first love, the love of your life? Who you say, oh yea, him/her?

Things happen and these boring humdrum things get in the way of our love. This world, like a black hole, will suck all our energy away from what’s really important. So stop, right now, yes, stop and take a moment to evaluate where you are and what you are doing to grow and nurture that first love.

Here’s a list to consider,

God should be first; second, your spouse, third, your family, then friends.

That should be the order of things, your priorities, and your goals. If there are things getting in the way of those priorities forget them. At least put them on the back burner, the way back burner.

Yes, there is important stuff you have to do. I understand.

But everything else that you do should only enhance your relationships with your top priorities. If those important things don’t make life better for the ones you love then they are not worth it. Understand this people live and love better with a lot less stuff. That gizmo that you think will make life better probably won’t make you a better father or mother or spouse. You are the one who is in charge of the giving love. Not the stuff.

Notice that the verse above says, “left your first love”.

Your priorities, your loves, never went anywhere. You walked away. They are still there; get back to the things that are really important.

Get back to your first love.

 

  1. Too many times we think things will be better in the future. We plan, dream and expect that in a month or year or sometime in the future everyone will live happily ever after. Sorry but you only have today. There is no real tomorrow only hope for tomorrow.

  2. Take advantage of the time you have now. Right now.

  3. Apologize, make up and repent. Do it now.

  4. Happily ever after starts today

 

This is an excerpt from my book,

Love

A 30 Day Biblical Approach to Love

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

 

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 17, 2017

Happy Saint Patrick’s day

shamrock-field

Posted by: frankjwalker | March 16, 2017

Love 36

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Day 36

1 John 4:7

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God…

 

I think the fad is over now, but do you remember when everywhere you looked Christian people wore something that had WWJD on it?

You remember, “What would Jesus do?”

I’m not advocating starting that fashion statement again, but it would be a good thing to keep in mind when considering how we make choices in our lives.

Is there any better way to love someone than the way God does?

God loved us first and continues to love us despite the wrongs we do. This whole thing, the earth, the universe, all the people on the planet were created for our benefit, out of God’s love for us.

God loved us so much He has even given us the choice of not loving Him.

That’s called free will. God loves enough to let us walk away from Him. He doesn’t like it. But God wants us to make the choice to love Him. The sacrifice of His only son on the cross is how far God will go in His love for us.

So God is calling us to love like Him. God is asking us to love like He does. What better role model than the creator of it all? Love like God loves you.

 

  1. I know what you’re saying, “Well, He’s God I’m only human”. Only human with a God given capacity to love. The capacity to give yourself away and truly love another person. This love stuff is a God given thing. In Genesis in the garden of Eden God created us to be like Him, a lover.

  2. So get off that rock made of your excuses and get out there and be the lover God meant you to be.

  3. Understand this though, love hurts, isn’t pretty all the time but is always worth it.

 

 

 

This is an excerpt from my book,

Love

A 30 Day Biblical Approach to Love

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

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