Posted by: frankjwalker | September 22, 2016

Autumn…

golden as an apple

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 21, 2016

Parents, kids and School Days #7,

school days

 

School Days, #7

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

 7. Provide a place in your home for school work.

This space should be the designated as the homework station. Have a set up where pencils, pens and paper are on hand. If they use a computer have that plugged in and ready to go.

Make this place a public space in the home where you can supervise and be available to help.

You don’t need anything fancy. Just a place. The kitchen table will do. It just needs to be homework central.

 

Questions about how to do this parenting stuff? Stuck in a rut? Let’s talk @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 20, 2016

Buttered Popcorn…

life is not popcorn

 

 

Theater Popcorn

I love to get a bag or box of popcorn at the theater.

Just a couple weeks ago my wife and I were at the counter of the theater. The counter girl asked what size.

We looked at each other a little greedy and said a medium with butter of course. I’ll admit it I would have gone with a large.

In the theater, I usually hold the bag and my wife reaches over to help herself.

Sharing popcorn can be romantic. Butter kisses are great too.

A movie without popcorn would not be a good movie to us.

But life can’t always be theater popcorn. Even if it was it would get boring after a while. It really would!

Just the fact that we are at the theater for this special occasion makes the popcorn taste even better.

Sometimes we expect life to be buttered popcorn all the time.  We look to be entertained, surprised and catered to all the time.

But it can’t be so and won’t be so.

So understand this.

Much of life is just life, moving along and getting by. There are moments of exclamation and moments that are assume.  But most of the time there are just plain old things that need to be done and must be done.

The dishes need to be cleaned up, the lawn needs to be mowed and most Mondays you have to get back to the job.

But understand that’s OK too.

So cherish the holidays, celebrate the special days when they come and make time for theater popcorn.

It makes the mundane, normal days all the more bearable.

So make certain days special.

Plan for those times that make life better.

Look forward to reasons for celebration. Birthdays, holidays, Fridays and just a few times to celebrate and make life better.

Hold on to the special times and enjoy.

Try butter kisses too!

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 19, 2016

Parents, kids and School Days #6,

school days

 

School Days, #6

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

6. Homework needs to be part of your child’s routine.

Enforce a homework time as a part of the days’ agenda.

Set up a place for doing homework. Make it a place where the kids can be supervised.

Eliminate distractions, like T.V. , cell phones and all the gadgets.

Make homework a daily habit, so that it becomes part of your child’s life.

 

 

Need a plan for the kids? Let’s talk. @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 14, 2016

Parents, kids and School Days #5,

school days

 

School Days, #5

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

5. Breakfast is so important to your child’s day.

Don’t let them out the door without some fuel in their tanks.

Chips and a cola is not breakfast.

Your child needs brain food.

Get the ready for the school day with a good breakfast.

 

Questions and comments @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 13, 2016

Authentic…

authentic pct

Authentic

I have a little trouble with how we throw around the word authentic. We use other words too to describe the term to like, real, honest and transparent.

The problem with the term is when it comes to describing people. Or when you describe your own thoughts or feelings.

Most of the time we are never really authentic.

We are always in a change mode and our being authentic depends on the circumstances.

The idea that we can be totally ourselves in all situations is rather futile.

It doesn’t mean that we should be fake and that we should lie about who we are. Although many people do lie and don’t act or react in truth.

But, we need to admit we would act differently depending on the situation.

Couples come to me in counseling and act much differently in front of me than they would when they are alone.

In some situations I put enough pressure on the couple so they might even get into an argument or react as if I wasn’t there. This gives me a small glimpse at the couples true interactions.

We can move to better understanding when I get this view of truth in their relationship.

We need to understand that we are always under construction.

We change based on our learning, knowledge and circumstances.

This change is a good thing.

I do not want to be the “authentic” person I was in middle school.

It is the hope that we mature and change with all we have encountered in life up to this moment.

This idea of being authentic is malleable and flexible. As it should be.

I was fascinated as a high school teacher when prom came around. The grubby, sometimes foul mouthed kids that I new in class became these shiny young adults when then had to wear a tux and prom dress. They walked and talked differently. Some very uncomfortably.

The point is that based on the conditions we reshape the authenticity that we are.

We are a work in progress and our “authenticity” should be in flux as we grow and mature.

Much of our authenticity depends on the moment.

That’s OK as long as we understand that we will change, that we encourage change and recognize the change when it occurs.

Being  real, transparent and  authentic comes as we grow and change.

Understand that being authentic means being able to change, adapt and mature. Work towards being complete and whole.

Trouble with being the real you? Let’s talk @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 12, 2016

Parents, kids and School Days #4,

school days

 

School Days, #4

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

 

4. Promote a love for learning in your children and praise their efforts in school work.

Mentor learning in your own life.

  • Make lifelong learning a goal for everyone in your home, which includes parents too.

  • Why not take on some learning on your own?

  • How about the degree or certification you put off getting?

  • Could you take an on-line course?

Learning is good for you and of course it is a great example for your kids.

 

Fighting school battles at home? Let’s talk @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 7, 2016

Parents, kids and School Days #3,

school days

 

School Days, #3

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

 

  1. Send notes of encouragement to your child’s teacher. Tell them you like the assignments or the way they are doing things.

    Teachers are under a lot of stress with all that is required of them, give them a boost periodically.

Please, don’t forget the Middle School or High School teachers too.

Just because your child is older does not mean the teachers need less support on the contrary they need even more.

I say this as a former Middle school and High School teacher who rarely had any positive interactions with the parents of my students.

Somehow we have the impression that the older our kids are the less we need to be involved.

Teachers need to know that you will back them up and are available to help with your child’s needs.

It’s tough on a teacher when the only time they hear from you is when you have a complaint.

There is a lot of talk about heroes in the world today. Your kid’s teacher is a hero. Try teaching a class of 30+ kids and see what it takes.

 

Question? Talk to me @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 6, 2016

Don’t carry what you don’t need…

unnamed

 

Don’t Carry What You Don’t Need

 

All of us carry around so much extra baggage with us.

Thoughts, feelings, guilt, emotions and regrets bog us down and weigh upon us.

Some of the loads we carry are so heavy that we can’t even move or make logical decisions.

We need to lighten our loads and be free of the burdens of the past and some of the things of the present too.

There is essential stuff we need to have with us.

But there is so much more we can get rid of to ease the load we have.

By ridding ourselves of unnecessary burdens we can focus on the things that are really important and rewarding.

So how do you get rid of the excess stuff that’s holding you down and back?

Here are some thoughts:

  • Understand you are not the person you used to be. It’s a different time, place and you have grown up and grown beyond what’s getting you down. Move from this point forward.

  • Stop looking back. That was then, this is now. make decisions based on what you know now. Don’t get caught in repeating your past.

  • Say no. say no to your negative thoughts. Say no to the demands that others make on you. there is power in “no”.

  • Forgive. Don’t hold on to grudges. Your’e the only one who is holding the weight of the past. Let it go.

  • Forgive yourself. Sometimes it’s hardest to forgive ourselves.

  • Seek forgiveness. Make restitution. Pay for your mistakes in whatever way you need to then move on.

  • Have a plan. Don’t allow yourself to be stuck. Have a plan for moving forward.

  • Just because you blew it and made mistakes doesn’t mean you will in the future. Give yourself a break and move forward.

  • Seek help, find a  counselor, pastor or mentor. Find a wise person that can help you get over and beyond your burdens.

  • Take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise and get a good nights sleep. Treat yourself like you matter.

 

Need help? Let’s talk @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | September 5, 2016

Parents, kids and School Days #2

school days

 

School Days, #2

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

 

2. Be proactive.

Meet your child’s teacher before school starts and not just at back to school night.

Encourage your child’s teacher; let them know they have your support.

Keep your contact consistent throughout the school year.

 

School can sometimes be tough for you and your kids let’s talk@ 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

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