Posted by: frankjwalker | August 24, 2016

Speak Clearly and Softly To Get Someone’s Attention

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Speak Clearly and Softly…

1 Corinthians 14:9

So also you, unless you utter by the tongue speech that is clear how will it be known what is spoken?

 

It’s all about communication.

You can have a brass band and fireworks but if they don’t understand what you’re saying you lost.

Remember that old perfume ad,” If you want to get someone’s attention just whisper”.

Whispering can be a really effective tool to use. Remember that time you had laryngitis and people had to really pay attention to understand you?

Speak clearly and softly to get people’s attention.

The whole point of this communication business is that you want to be heard, and in hearing, understood. You don’t have to be a genius or a great showman to get your words across to people. Just speak clearly and precisely, that’s all it takes.

Try this formula next time you want to get something across to someone.

  1. Know what you want to say and then simplify it.

  2. Calmly speak the words and “only” those words to get your point across.

  3. See how it works.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | August 22, 2016

Rants, Raves,Put Downs and Come Backs

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Excerpt from my book

Anger Book

1 Corinthians 13:1

If I speak with the tongue of men and of angels…

You’re smart, intelligent and you know just the right thing to say to get your point across. So what?

The bright banter and great debating skills mean nothing unless they are backed up with something positive and true.

Even if you’re good at verbal skirmishes, if it’s all about the negative then you are just like so many others.

Look at the TV talk shows, listen to talk radio programs, it’s all a parade of useless verbiage that gets very little done except raising our blood pressure.

Everything, everything you say and do should be backed up by your love.

Your love for God and your love for God’s people.

Read all of chapter 13.

This is not just a nice reading for weddings. It is the way of life for all Christians.

We are all so good at verbal comebacks and put downs.

We’ve been trained so well by family and friends to cut each other to pieces with our tongues.

We need to stop, take a minute and filter our thoughts and words through the love that God has given us. A filter removes impurities.

God’s love does the same.

We can speak with the tongues of men and angels.

But we can temper our words with love to mend fences, build bridges and bring about God’s will on earth.

 

  1. Who in your family and friends is the best at arguing?
  2. Why are they good at it? What have you observed when they argue?
  3. Are you like them? Why? Why not?

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | August 17, 2016

School Expectations

Prepare for School

I know, I know, I don’t want to bring it up but school is isback in session. Stores are selling school supplies and the ads all feature fall clothing. So prepare yourself and your kids for the coming school year.

Parents your attitude affects the way kid’s think about school.

Talk to them about school and tell them your own positive experiences in the classroom. If you had bad experiences in school temper that with what school is supposed to be.

Too many kids come to class with their parent’s prejudices toward school.

School is one of the most important parts of your children’s lives, encourage a positive attitude and have a positive attitude yourself.

School is not just about grades. Grades are important.

However, the biggest thing that school teaches is how to get along. School teaches us to be citizens of this country, how to cooperate and how to participate in something larger than ourselves. School is about relationships and a shared knowledge.

Parents should model for their kids how they should act and react in school. Talk to them about teachers and how to get along with them.

Kids need to know that there will always be someone who will have expectations of them. There will be teachers, supervisors and bosses wherever they go.

Talk about bullies and what they can do to help themselves survive tough situations.

Build your child’s self esteem so that it will be hard for the bullies in school and in the rest of their lives to tear them down.

Set goals and expectations for your child in school.

Your child needs to know that you put value in their education. They need to know that they have responsibility to the school, their teachers and to you to do their best. Education is not just the school’s responsibility. Parents are the primary educators and must be a positive influence in the education of our nation’s children.

Summer has gone by fast. Another school year is upon us.

Let’s do all we can to make it a great school year.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | August 15, 2016

You Are Grown Up now so When I was a Child…

 

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An excerpt from my book

The Shut Up Book

A 40 day Biblical Approach to Controlling Your Mouth

1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child, I used to speak as a child…

 

It’s so easy to fall back to that screaming, yelling, and pouting kid we used to be.

When an argument starts, when we feel pushed into a corner, it becomes a time travel trip to elementary school days. We revert to silly childlike things like name-calling, put downs, whining and yelling.

Somebody throws a temper tantrum, somebody stomps their feet and somebody gets mad and picks up their toys and goes home.

In the middle of all this somebody even says, “You’re acting just like children” the quote that mom or dad or grandma said a thousand years ago.

And frankly you are acting just like a child.

So everybody goes away and sulks.

If they come to their senses and think in a mature way about what just happened they feel pretty silly about how things turned out.

When you were a child you acted like one you are not a child anymore.

So what is the mature adult response to what is going on?

Here are a few possibilities.

  1. Pause, count to 10, count to 100 if you have to before jumping in to any argument or disagreement.

  2. Count the cost. Is it worth your two cents to get involved?

  3. If you’re going to get involve think before you speak. Weigh your words. Sometimes words come out that you didn’t really mean.

  4. Understand that no one wins in most of these arguments. Agree to disagree might be the best option from the start.

  5. Know that there is a point of no return, when people will be hurt and friendships lost. Be aware of that point and walk away before you get there.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

805-395-1155

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93248

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | August 10, 2016

In Your Marriage. Think, Speak, Act.

 

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excerpt from my book

Anger

James 2:12

So speak and so act, as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty.

Through the death and resurrection of Jesus we are set free. We are no longer under the bondage of the old laws and the penalty of sin.

This freedom however, does not give us the opportunity to say or do anything we want.

The liberty we have in Jesus frees us from our anger, spite and jealousy. Our desires, needs and wants are based on heavenly goals. We are no longer entangled with the things of the world. We speak and act from a different language and value structure than what the world does.

This liberty does not free us from the concerns of the world.

But we can now view the world through the lens of our heavenly calling.

We are called to think, speak and act as people liberated by our salvation in Jesus.

  1. The problem with anger and strife is it limits our view of things. We focus on the problem and not the bigger view.

      2. Is this disagreement really going to solve anything in view of the big God picture?

Step back and take a long view of the situation.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | August 8, 2016

Where are you from?

photo 1 (9)Excerpt from my book

A Word from the Word, A Daily Commentary on the Gospel of Matthew

Matthew 1:1

Genealogy”…

Where have you come from? What is your families’ history? How far can you go back in your families’ genealogy? You are not alone; you’re carrying a long line of influences with you as you walk around. You are more like your family and relatives than you might want to admit. How did they survive? How did they work things out? How can you model your life after their successes? God has put a lot of work into making you who you are. You are a mixture of genes, histories, and circumstances that make you the unique you. God is the great chemist who mixed all those things together to make you happen. Embrace that uniqueness; look at your families past to see your future. God has worked out great things for you.

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | August 1, 2016

Realationship Advice: Love and the Law

the love that lasts

love is the fulfillment of the law.

Romans 13:10

Our first reaction to a law is to fight it. “No one is going to make me wear a seat belt.” “Nobody is going to tell me what I can say or do.”

I’m sorry but in our democratic nation laws are put in place for the perceived common good. Notice I said perceived, because some laws across the land are a bit strange.

Laws are for our safety, to maintain civility in the land, and frankly to help us get along. Yes, laws are broken all the time. How many of you drive 55 miles per hour when the signs say too?

Being a Christian comes with a set of laws. Do the 10 commandments ring a bell? The ultimate purpose of these laws is love. Love for God’s people and love in return to the law giver.

God’s laws are in place for our safety and to maintain order in His kingdom. The ultimate results of following God’s law and being under His protection through His laws is our love for the law giver. In case you haven’t figured it out, God is the giver of the laws. You love God, right? God loves us so much that He doesn’t allow for us to be lawless.

Through the discipline imposed by the God’s laws we fulfill God’s plan for us.

Yes, there is reason and a plan behind the laws of God. The fulfillment of the laws of God is our love for Him and His love for us.

The laws provide a way to come closer to God and His love. We may fight back at the law and drive over the posted speed limit. However, in the end the law is there because God loves us. We in turn will come to love Him by following His laws.

  1. So what are the laws you like the least? What are those laws basic purpose?
  2. What laws would you change? What laws would you add? Why?
  3. What laws do you love? Why?
  4. If we love the law giver, God. How can we learn to love the laws?

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | July 28, 2016

The Art of the Possible.

therapy the art..

Therapy: The Art Of The Possible.

 

I got into this therapy business because I believe in change.

Your life can be a mess. Your relationships can be in turmoil.

But I believe that change and renewal is possible.

This counseling thing is all about the possible.

Your life circumstances might seem overwhelming and impossible to change.

But I believe that with time, the right insights and directions your life can change.

  • It is possible to get out of the rut.

  • It is possible to change your circumstances.

  • It is possible to overcome your difficulties.

Change is possible.

Through therapy/counseling your life can be changed.

Take a chance on the possible.

Get the help you need.

Find the help you need.

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | July 25, 2016

Improve Your Mental Health

improve your mental health

 

 

Improve our Mental Health.

 

Here are a few things you can do right now to improve your mental health.

  • Get outside.

    Turn off the TV, put down the device and head outside. Morning, noon or night just get out into the world. Of course it might be nice to add some Mother Nature to the mix. Go to the park, that open field near by, but get outside a little every day. nature has a way of uplifting your mood.

  • Exercise.

    I know ugh, exercise. But a little goes a long way. Take a walk, ride a bike or do a few push ups. Get your heart beating a little faster, maybe even sweat a little.

    Exercise can help you feel good. Despite how you feel when you are doing it. Get up and move your body.

  • Get some good sleep.

    Good sleep. You need at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. You really do. Go to bed early. Have a bed time routine. Don’t overdo stimulation before sleep. Get the sleep you need.

  • Breath.

    Several times a day take time to do some slow deep breathing.

    Breath slowing through your nose and slowly out of your mouth. Breath in and out at least three times.

    Feel your body relax and calm your nerves.

    Even better than that learn to sit up straight all the time and breath from your belly. Most of the time we are slouched over and don’t fill our lungs with air and we don’t get rid of the air we have inside.

    Breath in the good air and get rid of the bad. Now say ahhh.

These are really simple things you can do to improve your overall mental health. there is much more you can do to bring positive change in your life. You have to be in control of your health, mental, physical and spiritual health.

Take control.

Need more help call, write or email me @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | July 21, 2016

Stop Trying to Impress …

unnamed (2)

 

Stop Trying to Impress Others.

We base so much of our lives on what others think.

We want to show off and look bigger, badder and better than we really are.

We hide behind images of what others think we should do and be.

In the end the show we try to put on doesn’t mean anything to anyone.

Why? Because it never is the “real” you. Life, your life is all about being real.

Nobody really likes a fake or wants to be a fake.

So get over trying to impress people and be the real you.

The way you live your life is what’s important and it is the only thing that will last.

The stuff is just that stuff. It will not last.

But the life you live and the life you give will last long after you and your stuff is gone.

Invest in what really matters.

Impress people by the way you live.

 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

80-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

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