Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 19, 2019

Wants are not needs…

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Wants are not needs.

Please understand the difference.

There are certain physical, emotional and biological things you need. Food, water shelter and companionship are at the top of that list.

But wants are an entirely different thing.

I want a nice car. Even nicer than the one I have. But I can get along perfectly well with the one I have now.

I want money, fame and fortune. But is that really what I need?

Wants are secondary to needs. Work on the things you need. Provide those for your family and yourself.

The wants are not necessary.

 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 16, 2019

Parents, kids and School Days

school days

 

School Days

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

Homework needs to be part of your child’s routine.

Enforce a homework time as a part of the days’ agenda.

Set up a place for doing homework. Make it a place where the kids can be supervised.

Eliminate distractions, like T.V. , cell phones and all the gadgets.

Make homework a daily habit, so that it becomes part of your child’s life.

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 15, 2019

Parents, kids and School Days

school days

 

School Days

Here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

 

  1. Send notes of encouragement to your child’s teacher. Tell them you like the assignments or the way they are doing things.

    Teachers are under a lot of stress with all that is required of them, give them a boost periodically.

Please, don’t forget the Middle School or High School teachers too.

Just because your child is older does not mean the teachers need less support on the contrary they need even more.

I say this as a former Middle school and High School teacher who rarely had any positive interactions with the parents of my students.

Somehow we have the impression that the older our kids are the less we need to be involved.

Teachers need to know that you will back them up and are available to help with your child’s needs.

It’s tough on a teacher when the only time they hear from you is when you have a complaint.

There is a lot of talk about heroes in the world today.

Your kid’s teacher is a hero. Try teaching a class of 30+ kids and see what it takes.

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 14, 2019

Starting the new school year

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Back to School

Well like it or not summer is over and the kids are back in school.

 

So here are a few suggestions from a therapist and ex-teacher for getting the best out of your child’s school year.

  • Put your child’s teacher and school on your daily prayer list.

    They need as much heavenly intervention as possible. Encourage your children to do the same and not just before tests.

  • Be proactive.

    Meet your child’s teacher and not just at back to school night. Encourage their teacher; let them know they have your support. Don’t forget the Middle School or High School teachers. Just because your child is older does not mean the teachers need less support on the contrary they need even more.

  • Send notes of encouragement to your child’s teacher.

    Tell them you like the assignments or the way they are doing things. Teachers are under a lot of stress with all that is required of them, give them a boost periodically.

  • Promote a love for learning in your children and praise their efforts in school work.

  • Breakfast is so important to your child’s day.

    Don’t let them out the door without some fuel in their tanks. Chips and a cola is not breakfast. Your child needs brain food.

 

Understand you are the primary teacher in your children’s lives.

Learning is important at home and at school. Support your child’s education.

Educate your children.

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 13, 2019

Toxic Thinking

 

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 12, 2019

Marriage Mistakes

Peppers marital problems

Marriage Mistakes

 

Not Listening to Your Spouse

When your spouse talks to you listen. Really listen. Put down your phone, turn off the TV and look at them and listen.

This includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting.

On the other hand, expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is a huge communication mistake. Talk plainly and speak to be understood.

Ask questions. Repeat what you hear to insure understanding.

If you don’t understand seek clarification.

Don’t guess. Don’t assume. Never stop listening.

 

Resource: Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com Guides

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 9, 2019

Marriage hassles

Peppers marital problems

Marriage Mistakes

 

Lack of Respect

Don’t badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates.

Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated. They need to overhear you saying good things about them in public.

You are your spouse’s cheerleader. You are on a team together.

If there are problems in your relationship don’t deal with them in public. If you need advice seek it in private and keep it that way.

Just be quiet.

Teach your kids to respect your spouse. The best way to do that is by example.

Resource: Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com Guides

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 8, 2019

Marriage Hassles

Peppers marital problems

Some serious areas of contention among couples.

Schedules.

Know from the start that your marriage and love for one another is the number one priority in your lives. All else is secondary.

But given that we all are busy people and our busy lives get in the way of our marriages.

Learn to say no.

Learn to squeeze in time together.

Make your home a refuge so that you both crave the time you have together.

Take it one step at a time.

When you are away from each other stay in touch. Text, email, face time and call each other.

Keep each other up to date. Plan your weeks together. Know each other’s schedules.

Don’t be busy just to be busy.

Plan date nights away and alone.

If you can don’t bring work home. Home is the refuge from all that stuff. Try to keep it that way.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 7, 2019

Couples Hassles

Peppers marital problems

Some serious hassles for couples.

House stress and home maintenance.

Lawns must be mowed; laundry must be washed, and the house has to be taken care of.

It must be done and there is no getting around it or any way to avoid it.

So, you as a couple have to do it.

Men understand your Mom is not here to pick up after you.

Ladies, you are the queen of your home, but you do not have servants and if you did your husband is not one.

I have stated repeatedly there are no girl jobs and there are no boy jobs there are just house jobs.

You both come into your marriage hopefully trained by your family on how the housework should be done. Understand that you both have different ways of doing things and compromise and negotiate.

But the great thing is that you together can decide how to accomplish you household tasks. You get to set the rules.

But also know that there is no way to get around doing the upkeep of your share home.

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 1, 2019

Simply living…

Living a simple life.

Enjoy a simple life.

Find real joy in living simply. Leave the hassles and business of the world up to the other folks.

You were made for a simple life.

A simple life can be fulfilling. A simple life can be a saner way of doing things.

Embrace a life that is full yet simple.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

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