Posted by: frankjwalker | December 3, 2016

You need Marriage Counseling If…#3

you-may-need-marraige-counseling

 

You Need Marriage Counseling if…

 

  • You Pretend everything is OK.

You know deep down that there are problems.

But maybe time, or forgetfulness will take them away.

Things are not OK.

You need to see someone to help you sort things out.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | December 3, 2016

You Need Marriage Counseling If…#2

you-need-marriage-counseling-if

 

You Need Marriage Counseling if…

 

2. You seem to Speak different languages.

Sometimes it just seems your spouse is from another country or even another planet.

They don’t listen or just don’t quite get what you mean when you discuss things with them.

You might need a translator to help your gain understanding.

Maybe some professional counseling will help?

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | December 2, 2016

You need Marriage Counseling if… #1

you-may-need-marraige-counseling

 

You Need Marriage Counseling if…

  • You Bicker constantly.

You know what I mean. It seems that everything you do is not enough.

They are never satisfied and you are drained trying to please them.

Maybe the shoe is on the other foot. Everything your spouse does just bugs the heck out of you.

Sound familiar?

You may need Marriage counseling.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 30, 2016

Helpful Holiday Tips

holiday-tipsGet into the holiday spirit with these helpful tips.

Downsize, especially in this economy.

  • If you’re buying a gift for every sibling, aunt, uncle and in-law, set a price limit or draw names and buy for just one person.

  • Schedule a holiday dinner with friends and don’t give gifts. Focus on enjoying one another’s time.

Spread out Santa’s work.

  • Enlist the help of your spouse and kids in holiday preparations. Give the kids gifts to wrap, get their help making the cookies. This is a way to pass down those holiday recipes to the kids.

  • Don’t be the only one doing the shopping and give out a list to your spouse. You husband needs to share in the gift buying and then he will know what has been bought too.

  • Don’t decorate alone. Schedule a family decorating day this is all about relieving stress. Sharing the holiday chores will help.

Coordinating holiday activities is overwhelming.

  • You can’t do everything. Prioritize your events. Post a calendar so everyone knows time and place.

  • This sounds simple, but making a list of who you need to shop for, how much you want to spend and gift ideas will eliminate a lot of stress and extra trips to the store.

  • Buy some generic gifts to have on hand, like candles or gift cards, for any spur-of-the-moment gifts.

Just say no.

  • You don’t have to do everything and attend every function. Be gracious when you decline. In the end you won’t be overwhelmed.

Seek Good Counsel.

  • The pressures everyone faces during the holiday season can magnify existing mental health problems that may be controllable otherwise.

  • If you are experiencing more than the holiday blues, or think you may be depressed, take control of your mental health by seeking counseling.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 30, 2016

Autumn…

new york fall

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 29, 2016

10 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues…

10-ways-to-beat-the-holiday

 

10 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues

 

Look around us the stress is at level orange we are running ourselves ragged.  It doesn’t seem to be getting any better. We all come under the holiday blues, sometime during this season.

Check out the list below for possible solutions.

  1. You need to connect with people. The worst thing any of us can do during the season is to isolate ourselves. Get out be around people.
  2. Set realistic goals. Making a list and checking it twice isn’t just for Santa. Get organized and stick to your agenda.
  3. Make a budget and follow it. Especially during these times where money is tight you need to have a budget. You know deep in your heart that you can’t buy love so don’t try. A well thought out gift is better than quantity.
  4. Contact someone you’ve lost touch with. Call an old friend or a forgotten relative. Spread the love around by being there for someone.
  5.  Be honest with God about your situation. Don’t put on a front of good cheer if that isn’t the way things are. But don’t let the blues rule the reason for this season. Jesus was born in a poor manger. So don’t pout about your situation. Take the time to discover the real meaning of Christmas.
  6. Get plenty of rest. We run ourselves into the ground. Take some time to enjoy and relax.
  7. Let go of the past. Start fresh this year with a few new traditions and plans. Just because it has always been a certain way doesn’t mean you can’t change.
  8. Don’t overindulge in holiday foods. Enough said about this one.
  9. Don’t focus on what you don’t have – focus on what you do have.
  10. Get out of yourself and into other people. You know you feel so much better when the spotlight is off you. Look around at all the needs in the community. Be the answer to others needs.

 

Frank Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca 93428

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

805-395-1155

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 28, 2016

6 Reasons That Marriages End- Review

6-reasons-marriages-end

 

6 Reasons Marriages End.

 

You stopped being curious about each other.

One of the things that you need to understand about your partner is that is that they are an unfinished story. It should take a lifetime to know them, to really know them.

When your curiosity has stopped you are in trouble. One, because you have not done the work you need to do in the relationship. You need to investigate and coax new possibilities in your spouse.

Two you may be part of the problem yourself.

If you are the one who has become stale in your relationship, wake up and become alluring to your partner.

There is more to you and your partner become fascinating to each other again.

Get you and your spouse out of the slump you are in.

Change yourself and your relationship.

There is too much communication.

Sometimes you need a break from each other. This isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. Many times we are just too open with who we are. Be a little secretive in your life. Secrets are sexy.

Here are some hints:

Leave the bathroom door closed when you use it. Sometimes we are too open with our private stuff. There is magic happening in the bathroom when ladies do all their lady stuff. Keep your man in the dark about all you do to be beautiful.

The same goes for guys. She doesn’t need to see you doing what you do in the bathroom.

Dress in private. Don’t walk around in the all together all the time. Leave some things to the imagination.

Being in the altogether can be enticing but leave that for special times. Keep your spouse in suspense.

Get dressed and be presentable. Nobody really wants to see you with it all hanging out. Comb your hair, get dressed and look your best. It’s good for them and you.

Sex as stress.

Be honest and open with your desires in intimacy. Take the anxiety out of your sex lives. Sexual intimacy is the ultimate way to bring you closer as a couple. There should never be stress. Know and understand each other’s limits and boundaries.

The only the stress you should have is being apart.

There are money arguments.

Money is high on the list for couples in trouble.

Come to an agreement on expenses and money goals. Write them down and be vigilant about expenses.

Have some fun money but agree on how it should be spent.

Save something for emergencies and agree on what, when and where money should be spent.

You are on a team. You will only win when you are together on how to win for the team.

You feel suffocated.

Sometimes relationships can become all-encompassing and overwhelming.

Understand this happens sometimes even in the best marriages and it can and is normal. But it isn’t and doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.

Feeling suffocated may be your personal problem and not the fault of your spouse.

What are you doing to renew yourself? What new things are you bringing to the relationship?

Your battery has to be recharged. Your life has to be recharged. Get together with friends. Do something new, something you’ve wanted to try.

Become the catalyst for change in your relationship.

Change can be enticing and sexy.

You really can’t change your spouse, but you can be the change your relationship needs.

The “Marriage” is no longer a priority.

When I do couples counseling I tell them that their “marriage” is the client. What we are here in counseling for is to heal and improve the marriage.

Too many times marriage becomes all about me and what’s in it for me.

Marriage is a partnership to the end. Remember the “death do us part” of your marriage vows.

The marriage, your marriage should be at the forefront of all your goals, decisions and even your dreams.

Get yourself back to the reasons you got married in the first place.

Marriage is the biggest decision you made for your life. Put your marriage back where it should be in both of your lives.

The marriage road can have a lot of bumps, flat tires and detours. But know this the journey is worth it. The reason you married is still a reason to hold on and move forward.

Get the help you need to strengthen and heal your marriage. Talk to your priest or pastor or get profession help. But do what needs to be done to help your marriage.

 

 

Source:

Huffington post

Brittany Wong

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 27, 2016

Change Making…

change-making

 

Change making happens when you fall in love with a different version of the future.

Seth Godin

 

It is my hope when I see my clients is that there is some hope for the future. In their lives, marriages, jobs and families.

But often times hopelessness is at the center of their problems.

In many cases, it is my job to encourage and promote a glimmer for a better future.

It is that small glimmer of hope that can save a marriage, repair a relationship and improve a negative outlook.

  • What’s the problem?

  • How would it look and feel if there were no problem?

  • What would be different?

  • What steps can you take to reduce the problem?

  • What can you do right now to have a different vision of your future?

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-115

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 26, 2016

Stress and The Holidays

stress-and-the-holidays

 

Take control of the Holidays.

 

  • Acknowledge your feelings.

The holidays can bring up all kinds of emotions. Recognize that these feelings. Knowing your feelings can help you do something to reduce and even eliminate them.

  • Reach out.

The holidays are all about people. Get out of your house and isolation. Meet up with friends and family this season. Take in the many holiday events in your area. Be around people and share the holiday festivities. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events.

  • Be realistic.

You can’t do everything. So, do some things well. Don’t even try to do everything. You can’t meet everyone’s needs. It just can’t be done. Take the pressure off yourself of trying to be everything to everyone.

  • Set aside differences.

The holidays are a time to get together. But sometimes these get togethers bring up old disagreements and strife.  Put all of that aside. Leave politics and other hot topics out of the holiday picture. Remember good will toward men and even disagreeable relatives and friends. Bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for the season.

  • Stick to a budget.

  • Know your money limits and stick to them.

  • Try to accept people as they are. Even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations.

  • Plan ahead.

Have a plan and try to stick to it. Have a plan B just in case. Be flexible and go with the flow.

  • Learn to say no.

You can’t do everything. Don’t feel guilty. Know your limits.

  • Have a plan.

Know the when and where and hows. Stick to it with reason.

  • Don’t abandon healthy habits.

You know everyone goes overboard on the holidays. Know your limits and try to stick to them. Headaches, upset stomachs and hangovers are not worth it.

Don’t forget your exercise routine. Instead of sitting around the food table, take your talk on a walk.

  • Take a breather.

To be the best during the holidays you need some me time. Take a nap. Relax for just a little while. Don’t burn yourself out.

  • Seek professional help if you need it.

The holidays can bring out all kinds of emotions. It might help to talk to a professional. Just to deal with it all. Just talking it all through can be a big help.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | November 25, 2016

Holiday Meltdown

holiday stress

 

Watch out for Holiday meltdown

Here are some more ideas for coping with the stresses of winter and the holidays:

  • Be honest with what you are facing.

Recognize that you might be depressed.

  • You may be S.A.D. Seasonal Affective Disorder is real.

As the days are shorter and the weather turns gloomy get out into the sun as much as possible.

  • Get away, have some fun.

A quick trip to the coast might be just the thing. Maybe the mountains are your thing, just get away for a little while.

  • Turn off the cell phone and stay away from the email and breathe a sigh of relief.

  • Keep up with good nutrition and try some vitamins.

  • Do something pro-active.

A pedicure or massage might do the trick.

  • Don’t forget your exercise during the cold weather.

  • Get your sleep.

Eight hours is a good base. Too much is a sign of possible depression.

  • When all else fails seek therapeutic help.

A third party might have a better view of what might be happening to you.

 

Give me a call @

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

559-904-9028

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

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