Posted by: frankjwalker | January 18, 2018

Marriage Truths 3

 

Marriage Truths 3

I covered marriage lies and myths in other posts please check them out.

But understand there are truths that I hold to and you should too.

 

  • Don’t have unrealistic goals.

The biggest problem I see in marriage counseling is that expectations don’t get met.

Part of life is understanding the reality of what you have and are dealing with.

Too many times we have this “pie in the sky” view of how things should be instead of what they are.

There is no such thing as perfect and “good enough” is good enough.

Don’t get me wrong things always can get better.

But please re-read number one in the beginning of this series.

 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

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Posted by: frankjwalker | January 17, 2018

Marriage Truths 2

 

Marriage Truths 2

I covered marriage lies and myths in other posts please check them out.

But understand there are truths that I hold to and you should too.

 

  • There is no perpetual honeymoon.

The honeymoon is just that and only that.

The real marriage starts after that long “afterglow” of the wedding, long after the gifts are used up.

The honeymoon was and is a lot of fun.

But marriage 5, 10, 20 years of marriage, is where the real fun is.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 16, 2018

Marriage Truths1

 

Marriage Truths 1

I covered marriage lies and myths in other posts please check them out.

But understand there are truths that I hold to and you should too.

  • It’s Hard work

Getting along with someone, anyone is sometimes hard work.

Being married to that someone can make things difficult.

The hard work part is that you must stick to it, never give up and never walk away.

You must have a long view in marriage.

That’s what counts and that is where the work begins and continues.

Know this though it is all worth it. Good stuff takes hard work.

Your relationship is worth it.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 15, 2018

Martin Luther King Jr., Have a Dream

 

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.

What is your dream?

Not the materialistic things you might want to have and dream about.

“Things”, are nice to dream about but they are in the end just things and wisps of smoke that never last.

Dream big.

So what is your big dream, a dream that is beyond yourself?  Have Life changing, world changing dreams.

A dream that will touch not just you, but others around you.

A dream that will change your world and maybe even the whole world.

To have a dream you must be a dreamer and believe in the dream.

Give yourself the freedom to dream.

Live the dream.

Act on the dream.

Change your world.

Like Martin Luther King Jr., have a dream.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 13, 2018

Marriage Lies and Myths 2…

 

Marriage Lies and Myths

 

  • We’re incompatible.

OK, so get a handle on what makes you incompatible as a couple.

Is it he likes Chinese food and I like Mexican food kind of incompatibility?

Is it he likes football and she likes basketball kind of incompatibility.

Stuff like that can be worked out.

Things like compromise and negotiations can go a long way in solving compatibility issues.

Is it your expectations of what your spouse should be?

Expectations can and should be flexible.

Much of incompatibility comes from bad habits and poor choices all of which can be worked on and changed.

  • There is no hope.

As a marriage counselor, I’m in the hope business.

Understand that there is always hope.

Never give up hope.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 12, 2018

Marriage Lies and Myths…

 

Marriage Lies and Myths

  • Happiness is the most important thing.

I am not sure what happiness is and how you can even sustain the “happiness” when you are happy.

Happiness depends on so much.

Most of the time you have no control over what can or could make you happy.

The other part of this that we cannot expect anyone to make us happy. Who wants the responsibility and pressure of making you happy?

Because so much of happiness is a choice.

You can do everything right and still not be happy. You can also have a bad day but still remain happy.

Let’s get rid of the word happy and replace it with content or fulfilled.

These are better words and probably more lasting and attainable.

  • You have fallen out of love.

Like happiness love is based so much on feelings.

Feelings are temporary and depend on so many things.

Love is like the weather it changes.

Sometimes you have less love for whatever reason.

But the weather will always be here.

Your love will always be there even when it’s cold or hot or in between.

  • I married the wrong person.

Who is the right person?

Really who is the right person for you?

Somewhere down the line you thought, you knew that guy/girl was the one, the one. So, what happened to change that perception?

Did they change or did you change?

Understand change can be good.

If you have the idea that there are greener pastures someplace else you probably are mistaken.

Fix the problems you have here right now. Do you want greener grass? Then get some fertilizer and water the lawn you have.

Be the change agent in your relationship.

Become the right person.

 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 11, 2018

Love is fragile…

 

“Love, even genuine love, is a fragile thing.

It must be maintained and protected if it is to survive.

To keep your marriage vibrant and healthy, you simply have to give it some attention”

Dr. James Dobson

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 10, 2018

Help for Husbands 5

Wives helps for their husbands

Your husband needs help. Some husbands more than others, but they all need your help. Here are some suggestions on how to be the helper your husband may need from time to time.

 

  • Teach your kids to respect him.

Too many times I have seen and heard women slam their mates behind their backs and worse in front of their kids.

Your kids are sponges and learn so much about the world while observing you and your husband’s actions and interactions.

Show respect for your spouse and expect the same fromm your kids.

It goes both ways for the husbands too.

***Now if there are some real problems with your spouse and he is a threat to your family. Yes, the kids need to be aware. However, this is way beyond the emphasis of these articles. You need to make sure you and your family is safe and you need to get the help you need to solve this problem.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 9, 2018

Wives Help for Your Husbands 4

 

 

Wives helps for their husbands

Your husband needs help.

Some husbands more than others, but they all need your help.

Here are some suggestions on how to be the helper your husband may need from time to time.

 

  • Fight in private.

This one is important for you and your family.

Take your fights behind closed doors.

You just don’t want the kiddos involved in any disagreements you have and you want to share without an audience.

Stopping and moving to another venue helps calm things down and temper what you want to say in the heat of the moment.

In fact, it might be nice to get away from each other for a bit before you begin the debate. Take a walk, take a breather then come to the disagreement with a level head. Notice I haven’t used the word fight.

You don’t really want to fight with the one you love. In a fight, someone is the winner and someone is the loser. You don’t want your mate to be a loser and you don’t want to make your mate a loser.

Take this stuff down a notch or two or three.

  • Take his side.

It doesn’t matter what your man does or how old he is in the world, it’s him against the world.

There is so much male posturing, bravado, comparing and yes bragging going on out there in the “man” world.

He needs somebody to be on his side.

That somebody should be his wife. He can’t do it alone. Even though he thinks he can.

Cheer him on. Build him up and be on his side.

Make your home a refuge for him against a sometimes-nasty place outside your doors.

This Is a win-win situation.

The more he knows how he is appreciated, the more he will do to be appreciated.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: frankjwalker | January 8, 2018

Happy 1818

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

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