6 Reasons Marriages End.
You stopped being curious about each other.
One of the things that you need to understand about your partner is that is that they are an unfinished story. It should take a lifetime to know them, to really know them.
When your curiosity has stopped you are in trouble. One, because you have not done the work you need to do in the relationship. You need to investigate and coax new possibilities in your spouse.
Two you may be part of the problem yourself.
If you are the one who has become stale in your relationship, wake up and become alluring to your partner.
There is more to you and your partner become fascinating to each other again.
Get you and your spouse out of the slump you are in.
Change yourself and your relationship.
There is too much communication.
Sometimes you need a break from each other. This isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. Many times we are just too open with who we are. Be a little secretive in your life. Secrets are sexy.
Here are some hints:
Leave the bathroom door closed when you use it. Sometimes we are too open with our private stuff. There is magic happening in the bathroom when ladies do all their lady stuff. Keep your man in the dark about all you do to be beautiful.
The same goes for guys. She doesn’t need to see you doing what you do in the bathroom.
Dress in private. Don’t walk around in the all together all the time. Leave some things to the imagination.
Being in the altogether can be enticing but leave that for special times. Keep your spouse in suspense.
Get dressed and be presentable. Nobody really wants to see you with it all hanging out. Comb your hair, get dressed and look your best. It’s good for them and you.
Sex as stress.
Be honest and open with your desires in intimacy. Take the anxiety out of your sex lives. Sexual intimacy is the ultimate way to bring you closer as a couple. There should never be stress. Know and understand each other’s limits and boundaries.
The only the stress you should have is being apart.
There are money arguments.
Money is high on the list for couples in trouble.
Come to an agreement on expenses and money goals. Write them down and be vigilant about expenses.
Have some fun money but agree on how it should be spent.
Save something for emergencies and agree on what, when and where money should be spent.
You are on a team. You will only win when you are together on how to win for the team.
You feel suffocated.
Sometimes relationships can become all-encompassing and overwhelming.
Understand this happens sometimes even in the best marriages and it can and is normal. But it isn’t and doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.
Feeling suffocated may be your personal problem and not the fault of your spouse.
What are you doing to renew yourself? What new things are you bringing to the relationship?
Your battery has to be recharged. Your life has to be recharged. Get together with friends. Do something new, something you’ve wanted to try.
Become the catalyst for change in your relationship.
Change can be enticing and sexy.
You really can’t change your spouse, but you can be the change your relationship needs.
The “Marriage” is no longer a priority.
When I do couples counseling I tell them that their “marriage” is the client. What we are here in counseling for is to heal and improve the marriage.
Too many times marriage becomes all about me and what’s in it for me.
Marriage is a partnership to the end. Remember the “death do us part” of your marriage vows.
The marriage, your marriage should be at the forefront of all your goals, decisions and even your dreams.
Get yourself back to the reasons you got married in the first place.
Marriage is the biggest decision you made for your life. Put your marriage back where it should be in both of your lives.
The marriage road can have a lot of bumps, flat tires and detours. But know this the journey is worth it. The reason you married is still a reason to hold on and move forward.
Get the help you need to strengthen and heal your marriage. Talk to your priest or pastor or get profession help. But do what needs to be done to help your marriage.
Frank J Walker LMFT
1617 Main Street
Cambria, Ca. 93428
Frank’s books are available @