Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 10, 2020

Why men don’t…

+ why men don't

Why he doesn’t want to go to Therapy

Men feel forced by their partners or…

that the wife and the therapist (who is often a woman) will gang up on them.

Be proactive with therapy.

You are both in this together. You are a team that needs a tune up, a check up and a reboot.

You are on the same team.

The therapist is a coach.

Resources:
http://newsok.com/5-reasons-your-man-doesnt-like-counselingand-how-to-change-his-mind/article/5369862/?page=1
ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Counselors Say Men Are More Willing to Try Couples Therapy When It Focuses on Results
Strategies to get a reluctant partner to try couples therapy: Discuss positive outcomes, avoid ultimatums. Copyright 2014 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 7, 2020

Why men don’t…

+Why men don't...

Why he doesn’t want to go to Therapy

Counseling feels like failure.

Often for men things are thought of as win or lose.

Therapy sounds like a loss. You and your husband are not losers. The fact that you are seeking therapy proves you are not.

He is also worried the situation is worse than he thinks.

Emphasize the positive outcomes of therapy.

Therapy should never be the last straw before divorce.

Therapy is all about going over the bumps in the road.

Therapy should not be considered going over a cliff.

Resources:

http://newsok.com/5-reasons-your-man-doesnt-like-counselingand-how-to-change-his-mind/article/5369862/?page=1

ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN

Counselors Say Men Are More Willing to Try Couples Therapy When It Focuses on Results

Strategies to get a reluctant partner to try couples therapy: Discuss positive outcomes, avoid ultimatums. Copyright 2014 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

 

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 6, 2020

Why men don’t…

+ why men don't

 

Why he doesn’t want to go to Therapy

Men do not like feeling vulnerable.

I’m a guy and I get it. No man really wants to lay all his feelings out for the world to see.

Men just do not like to talk about their emotions.

Women are so much more comfortable talking about their feelings. Guys not so much.

Some men believe that therapy is female-oriented and that they will be at a disadvantage.

  • Come into therapy slowly.

  • Make the sessions comfortable for sharing.

  • Talk about what is right about your relationship and move slowly into problem areas.

Resources:
http://newsok.com/5-reasons-your-man-doesnt-like-counselingand-how-to-change-his-mind/article/5369862/?page=1
ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Counselors Say Men Are More Willing to Try Couples Therapy When It Focuses on Results
Strategies to get a reluctant partner to try couples therapy: Discuss positive outcomes, avoid ultimatums. Copyright 2014 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

 

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | August 3, 2020

Be Prepared

PreparedBe Prepared.

Be prepared before it happens.

If you know winter is coming, be prepared.

If it is tornado season, be prepared.

If you live in earthquake country, be prepared.

If you are in a relationship, be prepared.

Things are going to happen in your relationship.

Accidents will happen. Arguments and disagreements will happen. Mistakes will be made. Things will be said that were not meant to be said.

Like storm season you need to be prepared in advance of the storm. Food, batteries, candles and medical supplies might be a few things you would need in a storm.

The storms in your marriage relationship will happen and you can be prepared for them.

Decide how you will deal with disagreements in advance.

Have a plan for for when things get too hot. Take a time out and walk away until things cool down.

Have a plan in advance so you can fall back on the priorities you both set. Finances, jobs, chores and friends/family relationships are all things that can be agreed on in advance and can lessen disagreements in the future.

Agree from the start to agree to disagree.

Get to know each other and your wants, needs and desires. Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.

Know where you each stand and where you each have a little wiggle room.

Agree that you will love each other despite any differences you may have.

Put your marriage first on the list.

Agree to laugh and make up.

Remember the greatest of these is love. Corinthians 13.

 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT, retired

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | July 31, 2020

It’s Summer and It’s Hot

fan

Remember the good old hot and sweaty days when we didn’t have AC?

Remember when cars had 4/60 AC. Open four windows and go really fast.

We have come to expect chilled air and cool interiors.

It’s summer, it’s supposed to be hot.

It was just a short time ago that heat was just there to tolerate and ice cold lemonade really hit the spot on a hot summer day.

Slow down, dress for the heat and cool your heels. Enjoy the summer heat. remember how cold it was this past winter.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT, retired

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | July 30, 2020

Dealing with Lonliness

lonely1

Dealing with Loneliness

Loneliness happens, it just does.

It happens to the most popular people in the laps of luxury. It is not out of the ordinary to feel lonely in a crowd surrounded by people.

Loneliness happens to all of us at one time or another.

However, being lonely can be a sign of larger issues and may need the help of a professional.

Don’t let your lonely feelings hang on. Get the help you need.

Here are a few suggestions to overcome and get through the loneliness that you are feeling.

  • There will be a new day.

I know, I know this line is trite.

But, there is always a new day and you will get through this period of loneliness.

Time can take care of this if you just hang in there.

Again, if you are stranded on an island you can’t do too much about being lonely.

Loneliness can be handled, and it usually is just short term.

Understand your feelings of loneliness are just for a short time.

 

 

Frank J Walker LMFT, retired

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | July 29, 2020

Dealing with lonliness

lonely 2

Dealing with Loneliness

Loneliness happens, it just does.

It happens to the most popular people in the laps of luxury.

It is not out of the ordinary to feel lonely in a crowd surrounded by people.

Loneliness happens to all of us at one time or another.

However, being lonely can be a sign of larger issues and may need the help of a professional. Don’t let your lonely feelings hang on.

Get the help you need.

Here are a few suggestions to overcome and get through the loneliness that you are feeling.

  • Music helps.

I have recommended this in other articles for several issues.

So, listen to your favorite jams. Dance a little, sing a little.

Hey, you are all by yourself nobody will notice.

If people do notice, then maybe you won’t be lonely.

Music goes a long way to raise your good feeling hormones.

OK, head banging music is great but sometimes metal music can be negative and might not help your mood. Elevator music on the opposite side of things won’t help you either. You must balance things in your life.

Try music it will help. Really.

  • Move your body.

Loneliness can cause us to isolate ourselves and we tend to fold in to ourselves. So, get off the couch and move a little.

But take a walk, do some calisthenics get your self moving. You need the fresh air and activity.

If you join a health club you are bound to meet folks and make friendships.

Turn on the tunes and move your body.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT, retired

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | July 28, 2020

Dealing with Lonliness

lonely 3

Dealing with Loneliness

Loneliness happens, it just does.

It happens to the most popular people in the laps of luxury.

It is not out of the ordinary to feel lonely in a crowd surrounded by people.

Loneliness happens to all of us at one time or another.

However, being lonely can be a sign of larger issues and may need the help of a professional. Don’t let your lonely feelings hang on. Get the help you need.

Here are a few suggestions to overcome and get through the loneliness that you are feeling.

  • Think positive.

Loneliness leads to all sorts of things including anxiety and depression. Loneliness can lead to chemical abuse, suicidal thoughts and a rabbit hole of other mental health issues.

It seems so trite to say think positive but give it a try.

Being half empty all the time won’t do you any good.

There are some very positive things going on in your life.

Acknowledge the positive and build on that.

  • Have self-compassion.

OK, you are lonely.

The circumstances you are in have caused this loneliness. It is out of your control and maybe you can’t do anything about it.

So, acknowledge the loneliness and give yourself a break. Fix yourself a nice meal, read a good book, watch a good movie, have a nice cup of coffee and relax.

You are lonely, but you will survive this. You really will.

Give yourself some self-love and calm down.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT, retired

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | July 27, 2020

Be that way…

Be that way

Be That way!!!

I talk a lot about choices.

Understand you are constantly making choices.

Those choices can make or break your day.

Make you choices positive ones.

Be that way.

It’s your choice.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT-retired

Frank is a retired marriage counselor living on the central coast.

Check out all his blogposts at

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

and check his YouTube channel

“A Marriage Minute”

@ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

Frank’s has written several books that are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

 

Posted by: Frank Walker LMFT | July 24, 2020

Dealing with Lonliness

lonely1

Dealing with Loneliness

Loneliness happens, it just does.

It happens to the most popular people in the laps of luxury.

It is not out of the ordinary to feel lonely in a crowd surrounded by people.

Loneliness happens to all of us at one time or another.

However, being lonely can be a sign of larger issues and may need the help of a professional. Don’t let your lonely feelings hang on. Get the help you need.

Here are a few suggestions to overcome and get through the loneliness that you are feeling.

  • Help somebody.

A great thing you can do is to help someone in need.

There are a whole bunch of folks and organizations out there in need of your help.

Volunteer and help folks that need you.

  • Seek out other lonely people.

You are not the only one who is lonely.

Find someone else who is lonely and help them out.

Just by being there will help you and them.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT, retired

Frank is a marriage counselor living on the central coast. Check out all of his posts and view his videos “A Marriage Minute”

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

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