Posted by: frankjwalker | May 26, 2017

If you don’t have plans…

 

If you don't have plans

If you don’t have plans.

If you don’t have plans, then it’s hard to change them.

If you don’t have plans then you’re going nowhere.

If you don’t have plans then how will you know when you get there?

If you don’t have then someone will make them for you.

If you don’t have plans then you have no control.

If you don’t have plans…

You have to have a plan. You have to have a dream, a vision, a want.

If you have a dream, a vision a want  then you have to have a plan to get there.

Plans can change.

Plans can be flexible.

Plans can have a plan B or C.

You have to have a plan.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

walkertherapy.org

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT9Fs4RrK3z5lJFPgzpqSFA

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 25, 2017

Success in Marriage. Children.

successful-marriages-orange

Success in Marriage

People that have success in marriage follow these guidelines and marital habits.

Children

    • Understand that your marriage is not about your children. Your marriage is about each of you. When have children, you are still married.
    • Now that children are here you have become something else as well “parents”.
    • Now being a parent is a whole ball of wax in itself that can’t be covered in a short paragraph.
    • But understand that you both carry a lot of baggage with you into parenthood. You past, your birth family and your male/femaleness has much to do with how you do this parenting thing.
    • Then you have to come together as a team to do the best you can. Before you have those kiddos you need to know about all the things you both bring with you to be the best parents you can possibly be.
    • Have a plan, share the burdens and help each other with the kids.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 24, 2017

Success in Marriage. Politics.

successful-marriages-blue

Success in Marriage

People that have success in marriage follow these guidelines and marital habits.

 

  • Agreements on politics.

    • Yes, politics is part of your marriage. It’s a good idea to know and understand where your mate is politically.
    • It’s sometimes fun to discuss politics but not so much fun to argue it with your spouse. It’s tough having a red state and blue state under one roof.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 23, 2017

Food Relationships…

shortcake

 

Food habits and food relationships.

We need to understand our relationship to food and how it affects us in so many ways. Here are some thoughts about food. Food for thought if you will allow.

  • Physical

Food is a basic to survival, the body has a need for food, the body needs fuel, food is fuel, the body needs the right types and varieties of fuel. Treat your food as fuel like putting gas in the tank of your car.

The better the food the better the mileage for you and your body.

  • Sensual

Eating is a sense experience, smell, texture, taste and sight/look.

Engage all of your senses in eating. Spices, heat, cold, texture, crunch, crisp, plating,

  • Psychological

There is a psychological issue with food, from childhood memories, both positive and negative, parents and family all are a part of our eating history.

The abundance and or lack of foods and certain food experiences affect how and why we eat.

Food is a comfort, provides satisfaction, and an escape, overeating provides solace and comfort in place of some loss in life, birthdays, holidays, family days are all connected to food memories both positive and negative.

If you know your eating past and family experiences with food you can have a better understanding of why you eat.

  • Spiritual

There is a major theme that runs through scripture about food and food ceremony. The command in the garden, the command to Noah, the Passover meal.

Jesus at the wedding. Jesus concern for the food needs of those he healed. Jesus eating and drinking with the disciples and the feast of the last supper. Jesus providing food after His resurrection,

Food is sacramental. Bread and wine as symbols.

If we treat food as God has meant it for us then we can better control our urges and diet. God wants us to eat and to enjoy our food.

When we treat food as a gift from God we can avoid overeating and are relationship to the food we eat.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

walkertherapy.org

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 22, 2017

In Marriage Take Time Outs…

Take Time OutsTake time outs daily.

You have got to connect on a daily basis in your marriage.

You’re best friends aren’t you.

So, act like it and make some time for each other every day.

Check in.

Take a pulse on your relationship. Give your relationship CPR if it needs it.

Commit to time.

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 20, 2017

Bedroom Rules 5

rules in the bedroom 4

Five Rules for the Bedroom

Here are the rules I think you should keep in your “adult married” bedroom.

These are physical rules and they don’t deal with whatever happens between you and your spouse when you are in the bedroom. Maybe I will deal with that later.

Sometimes your bedroom, the “master bedroom”, becomes command center for the entire household. The master bedroom, your bedroom becomes the hospital, business center, counseling room, time out room and theater all in one.

It is my goal to suggest that your bedroom become what it is really intended for.

Here are five suggestions/rules that you might try.

Gadgets and devices out.

Tablets, cell phones, laptops, computers all should be out of the bedroom.

The news, the texts and the emails can all wait until the morning.

Don’t use your phone as an alarm clock.

Put it in another room and charge it there. Get a real alarm clock, that only tells the time.

All those devices have the same addicting effect that a T.V. has and probably worse. That blue light from the screen messes up your sleep and getting a text messes with your brain chemistry.

You really don’t want to be interrupted during sleep or sex, do you?

If there is an emergency call go to the room where your cell phone is and take the call.

We’re talking about your mental and relationship health here.

Do what is right for the one you loved first in your life. Don’t let distractions come between the two of you.

An investment in your love relationship is the best thing you can do for yourselves.

An investment in your love relationships is the best thing you can do for your kids too.

Life is better with a good night’s sleep. It is so much better with a healthy sex life together.

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

walkertherapy.org

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 19, 2017

Lost People…

lost people

Lost people have the tendency to get more lost.

 

The problem with being lost is that you get “loster”.

If you have troubles it seems that more troubles gravitate to you.

If you’re lost in the woods they tell you to stop and stay where you are. People will look for you where you were last seen.

Lost people, people with problems and people under stress tend to go in every direction but the right one.

If your lost, anxious, depressed or just confused a little, stop take a breath, look around and take things into perspective.

If your lost don’t get “loster”.

Don’t make any more mistakes.

Take it slow, calm down.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-935-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 17, 2017

Rules in the Bedroom 4

rules in the bedroom 3

Five Rules for the Bedroom

Here are the rules I think you should keep in your “adult married” bedroom.

These are physical rules and they don’t deal with whatever happens between you and your spouse when you are in the bedroom. Maybe I will deal with that later.

Sometimes your bedroom, the “master bedroom”, becomes command center for the entire household. The master bedroom, your bedroom becomes the hospital, business center, counseling room, time out room and theater all in one.

It is my goal to suggest that your bedroom become what it is really intended for.

Here are five suggestions/rules that you might try.

Kids out of your bedroom, with some exceptions.

This is a bit controversial but I am going to say it. The kids should not be allowed in the master bedroom.

  1. You as a couple deserve the privacy of your own space.
  2. You don’t need the interruptions that might happen while you are intimately involved. It happens anyway.
  3. The bedroom should be yours and yours alone.
  4. Kids need to learn respect for your privacy and “coupleness”. There is family time and parent time.
  5. Kids need to be able to entertain and be alone by themselves. Within reason of course. Kids need to know they are safe and you are close by.
  6. The kids need to learn how to knock on the door and ask permission to come in. they need to know that you are there but won’t jump up on their command.
  7. Here’s the exceptions.

If a child is sick and in need of close monitoring. If your child has had a nightmare and is need of comforting. If there is a special occasion, breakfast in bed or the reading of a story. But these are special occasions and should be treated as just that.

 

***I know there is a whole school of thought out there about kids sleeping with their parents. But that sure gets in the way of rule number one sleep and sex.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

walkertherapy.wordpress.com

walkertherapy.org

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

Vlog @ Frank Walker LMFT

http//youtube.com/c/FrankWalkerLMFT

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 16, 2017

Listen really Listen

listen-really-listen-pict

Go back and read the blog from April 22.

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

 

Posted by: frankjwalker | May 16, 2017

In Marriage Plan Together

Plan together

Plan together.

Have a plan, make a plan and follow the plan.

That means you might have to change directions and make more plans.

Do your planning together.

You’re a team and work together  as a team.

 

Frank J Walker LMFT

1617 Main Street

Cambria, Ca. 93428

805-395-1155

fjwalker.walker@gmail.com

Frank’s books are available @

http://www.blurb.com/user/store/frankjwalker

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